Government, The Spy

Money transactions, Health, Google searches.

Government knows what you're up to.

Government knows everything.

Before writing this, I made sure I could provide you a picture of Government himself.

Yes, it's just one guy.

Government uses camera's that can't even be spotted by the human eye, just to keep tabs on us.

He knows when you've kissed that girl your friend likes.

He knows when you've told the blind guy his shoe lace is untied.

He knows everything you've been up to.

He knows where you are at all times.

For this reason I have yet to determine whether this guy is Santa aswell or not.

I will have more info on Government when he resurfaces on my Government-Radar.

Sucking at games compared to friends.

 I like games. I like competing in little tournaments. I don't mind losing, unless it's from the computer. 

But sometimes, I just really want to beat my friends. That, unfortunately, sometimes just can't be done.

I lack the power to continue playing single player games for a highscore no one cares about.

Tetris for instance, I've seen people play tetris to such level it would seem they'd die if they'd complete the game without a highscore.

 

I tried being awesome at tetris, finishing all 20 levels (mine had 20 levels).

I failed. miserably. No matter how much time I spent doing tetris. It kept going faster, and I kept losing track as soon as that one annoying block was placed incorrectly.

  

So ofcourse, I saw the words "Game Over" once again, to proceed to the highscores afterwards.

Most games now how a nice "friends" tab when checking highscores so you can compare scores with them.

 

Note: John might not be an Asian name, but he definitely has Asian blood with that kind of highscore.

So there I am, with 6 people ahead of me.

How in the world am I supposed to get to number one? (Here I sadface a little, as it's obviously necessary)

After some thinking, and some cookies, I've come to the solution.

Eventually resulting in me being the best at everything, me thinking I'm awesome, and my number 1 spot proving it :D

Now who has the Asian blood?

*beep* *beep* *beep*

Television, Radio, Internet, People.
They all suffer from censoring.

Even criminals get their eyes censored, wtf, why?
They're criminals. We deserve to know exactly how they look.

While we are constantly moving forward when it comes to technology, people move backwards by being offended by everything they see or hear.
You have to be able to not be offended by every single thing that isn't 100% the way you want it.
If I were to be censored while playing Call of Duty, I would just have *beep* noises coming out of my mouth through the entire game.
That's why I say, Banhammer the Censors.

Youtube Trolls.

We've seen them, heard of them, or at least know of them.
Youtube trolls.
They are the people annoying the living hell out of random people by ruining their video with lame comments.
Unfortunately these people are encouraged more than the people leaving serious comments.
How's that for an opposite world?

Sundays Suck.

Sundays Suck.
We all know it.
They make us feel empty on the inside.
To prove it, here's my xray.

Everything's closed, no one feels like doing anything.
I personally have to clean my room or else I will be tortured. (Not really but I could lose my Internet over it.. which is basically torture.)
So yea, Sundays suck.

Home Alone + Sound = Ninja mode.

Being home alone is lovely.

You can do whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want.

Eat whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want.

You get the picture.

*Note: Lack of scenery (:

So, all goes well. Obviously. As you're the one in charge of this awesome period in time.

It becomes late, and dark, and you hear sounds. Sounds that you usually don't hear, but because you're home alone you'll make a big deal out of them and imagine the worst.

So you do what is to be expected of you.

 

You instantly remember how to turn regular stuff in your house into some sort of ninja weapon.

You remember the at least 623 ways to kill some burglar with a pen, or mousepad.

So you go downstairs. With whatever homemade weapon makes you feel cool and awesome, and find your pet. in this case a cat.

 

Note: This cat never shaves.

Just a "Quick" shower.

We're all familiar with them. The "Quick" showers.
The showers that we *say* will take a quick 5 minutes.
When we're actually in the shower though, everything changes.

Everyone's had these kind of showers. Including you. Don't say no, you'll ruin the post. So you too.
Here's YOU for the first 5 minutes.

After 5 minutes you're thinking, aww it's so nice and warm, I don't want to leave ):
You're saying this to yourself for at least another 5 minutes.

 

After 10 minutes you still don't want to get out. As it's obviously much colder outside of this nice warm stream of water. So you start thinking about how to stay warm when turning off the shower (Which you'll not find. HA).

 

After another 10 minutes you just know you have to get out, you have to go to work, or someone's waiting for you. Whatever the reason, you have to get out of here. But you still don't really want to, do you?

Doesn't matter, another 5 minutes later someone in your life is going to ruin this moment of your day anyway.